Gotta Start Somewhere

Did you know that when I was a kid I could barely keep a diary or journal because it was SO HARD to maintain perfection in my writing?

I was probably around 11 years old, and had it in my head that if the story of my life was ever going to get published like Laura Ingalls Wilder then it had better be good material. That means perfect. PER. FECT. That means, I didn't understand the concept of rough drafts, polishing, a team of editors, the unlikelihood of my life being so incredible that I had a nine book autobiographical series, or cutting myself some slack.

It was rough. I worried what people would think when they looked at my handwriting, and I hoped that it would be legible enough for the book people to be able to read it correctly. You know, in case they discovered my diaries post mortem. Because really, how many 11 year olds worry about their after-death fame??

At least one did. In the 90's. It was me.

Did you know that when I was teenager I had a blog for a while, and was sooo preoccupied with, somehow, having a super-awesome blog that tons of people would read and subscribe to and comment on and instead of just writing things that I thought or stuff that I felt, it was really just a big popularity contest for me? Because as we all know trying to win a popularity contest on the internet is about as positive and meaningful as winning an argument on the internet.

I didn't know that, then, though. So that was pretty rough, too.

So now I'm beginning this blog, and I'm happy to say that I've learned a few things about how to approach writing. I know that most of the time I approach a blank page feeling like I "don't have anything to say" but then manage to fill the page. I know that if I focus on expressing myself truly and genuinely, instead of with any attempt at a facade, writing is more relaxing because I'm not worrying about what people might think and therefore am not concerned with my "image." I also know that what I write doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't need to attract a publisher, and isn't about internet fame.

Letting go of those kind of hangups is good. It's freeing. And it certainly beats the unhappiness that always comes from perfectionism!


Have you ever worried about your writing being "good enough" in any of these ways? Do you have other ways that you can relate? I'd love to hear from you!